Women is not an object of desire

Time and again, we read such horrible stories of such gruesome crimes against women, girls and children that make us rethink. The sad part is these crimes make us think and we soon forget and move on. There have been numerous debates and protests time and again. However, nothing has changed. Women are still seen as a commodity. Not only a commodity, but an object of desire, family's honor and so much more, but not a human being. If they find a woman  beautiful, they will lust, try to lure. If the fail, they will come after woman...they will molest, rape, throw acids. If a woman is from an enemy camp, they will rape her so as to bring shame to her family or clan. If a woman dares to love someone that the society does not approve or breaks some social norms, she will be paraded nude, raped and killed.

No matter where we go...villages or cities, hospitals or police stations, schools or colleges-women face the same behavior and attitude. The very protectors are predators. They feel emasculated. They feel powerful when they take advantage of a woman.

I am deeply ashamed of being a part of such a society. Not only men, but women play a huge role in encouraging this kind of behavior. We are so proud of our culture and our value system. We condemn the West, but deep down are we really that civil. We are sick. We hear news, we gossip, we thank God that it didn't happen with us and we pray that we remain safe and then, we move on. We as as much to be blamed for such a sorry state of our society. We still think daughters are a burden, we still feel that a son will carry forward our legacy. We still believe that boys are allowed whatever and girls are supposed to stay safe. We don't want to make this society safe, we want our kids to stay safe.

I wish, each one of us would take responsibility of the society we live in. We become responsible for not only our kids but for everyone. We raise voice when we see some misconduct. Stop playing safe. Let's make this world a better place. One step at a time..a little change every day..Respect Women, Love children. We are not a commodity. We are not an object of desire. We are also human beings, treat is like one.

Give me some sun-shine...

" Give me some sun-shine,

Give me some rain..

Give me another chance,

 wana grow up once again."

These lines from the famous movie, 3 idiots..imply that if given a change, you would probably do things differently..

I guess all of us when look back at our life, there are certain moments that you want to change..certain things you want to do differently..
I also feel the same..there are so many things that I would love to change if possible..
But, if I think about it..those experiences, those heart-breaks, those stupidities give you such experiences, teach you such incredible things that would not have been possible without them...
Life is nothing is there are no bitter-sweet memories..
No doubt, there are heart-burns and pains and aches..
But those are the essence of the life..the experiences that make you wise.
Had you never lost a beautiful friendship, you would never know the true value of a  friend...
Had you not loved and lost, you would never really know how it feels to love someone utterly..
that it seems impossible to breathe...
But yet, you lost the love of your life..and still lived...
You know, you can still learn to love again, smile again..make new friends again...and probably do it right this time...
Had you not made those silly mistakes, you wouldn't know how it feels....
There is only one life to love..
No doubt, we make mistakes in life and keep making mistakes..
But it gives us something far more valuable...
Give us something to learn..look back in life and tell stories..
It gives us wisdom..

I am sorry for so many things in life..
Things I could have done differently
Wish, I was more mature..
Wish, I was less emotional..
Wish, I wasn't so easy to fool.
Wasn't so trusting...
The list is long..
But, these very flaws make me who I am...
Makes me unique...
I am flawed but thats how God made me...
So, why change it ..
Even if given a second change, I will retain my identity..my individuality...

" Give me some-shine
Give me some rain
Give me another chance
I wana do it once again."

Give and take relationships..

I read somewhere, that the relationships in which you count what someone has done for you and what you have done for someone are not friendship..they are not your friends but creditors if you keep score.

But, most of the relationships that we make these days- are centred around keeping score. You invited me for dinner, now it is my turn..you invited my daughter to play this time, next time I will. You messaged, I replied. You liked my pic, I will like yours ans so on...

But, if you stop messaging, you will stop receiving as well. You stop calling friends and family, they will stop calling you.

This does not mean that you are not kind, compassionate and caring..ditto for your friends and family. Everyone is a wonderful human being, loving and caring. But, we are conditioned to reciprocate. Never to forget the kindness done to us or the hurt that anyone caused us.

There is a severe side-effect of this kind of mentality. You never make the true relationships. You are too busy keeping score..everything being noted in that little diary in your brain, calculating the worth of your efforts and the next party's efforts as well..In this process, the heart is ruled by the mind..

I wish, relationships be free from mathematics and calculations...I wish, we could be childlike again..I wish, even in this age of  pomp and show, nothing else should matter, but warmth and compassion.

I have heard this, It is good to forgive, but it is better to forget..

Be forgetful, be naive, be carefree...

Enjoy life as it comes..

Don't keep score..

Do what you feel like and forget about it...

Life will be even more beautiful!!!

Pain and Life

Pain and life are inseparable. If you can still feel pain, if you still feel hurt and betrayed- be happy!! Because that means that you are still alive....
Pain is good..it means you are still human. The innocence is still there..that means the child in you is yet not died...that means..you still have the capability to love and to be loved.
Don't let small hurdles and little hurt take you down.
Don't let some carefree soul hurt you to the extent that you stop believing in love, friendship and kindness.
One day, you will get the right kind of friends...
One day, you will be surrounded by those you love and those who love you unconditionally.
It is not uncommon..
It is there..people still love each other without any expectations..
They still care and share..
If you haven't felt it yet, don't worry..it will happen..
You have not found the right kind of people for you yet..
It may seem long..it may seem forever..
The hurt may be unbearable..
But remember, it is this pain, that will make it worthwhile..
If you haven't faced rejection, how can you appreciate acceptance..
If you haven't been hurt and haven't faced anger,
how can you appreciate the affection and the happiness...
Feel the pain and enjoy it while it is there...
Let it tear you apart..
Let it make a new you..
Pain is good..
Enjoy it and be ready to embark on a new journey!!

Moral and social dilemmas

Recently,  I visited my daughter Daania's school for her Sports day and then again for the annual day. However, apart from watching my daughter participate in fun stuff, there is something else that made me to think. It was the parents behavior. No matter what rules school authorities set or how many times they request politely to the parents to please sit on their seats and do not click pictures and let everyone enjoy the event, the over-enthusiastic parents do not budge. They will defy all the rules, ignore social norms of decent behavior. Noteworthy is that, these are well-educated people who work in the best organizations, carry the best pay-packages and have all the luxuries in the world. We are not talking about illiterate people who do not understand the meaning of principles. They do. BUT they choose not to follow it.

I also see this class of people in Malls and food-courts, where you are about to take your seat and some decent looking lady or smartly dressed child just pushes you and takes your seat and then the proud parents/ other family members came triumphantly and take their rightful seat. ( clearly they have won this round ). Poor me, most of the time I look at these people with amazement, sometimes wonder, sometimes disgust and sometimes with pity.

I guess, such parents are trying their children to teach a lesson. The lesson is that it is OKAY to defy the rules, trample underfoot others and be go-getters. Just focus on the goal. May be their children will become winners, may be not. But, what I foresee is, a future where people don't play fair. No regard to social etiquette, manners, respect. I am teaching my child to be respectful towards elders, loving and kind to not only friends and family but also towards other human beings and animals. I teach her that it is okay to lose as long as you try with all your might. I teach her to love life and enjoy, nothing else matters. It saddens my heart to feel that if I succeed in what I seek, my daughter will be one of a dying breed. May be she will be sensitive enough to care for everyone else and she is the one who will suffer because of the new breed of parenting that I see everywhere.

I wish this world to be a kinder and safer place. I wish everyone should respect others. Come one, if you do not click your child's photograph while performing or you will have to wait for another 5 minutes in a mall, it will not be the end of the world. Nothing will change. Can't you just sit back and enjoy the performance of your child, whistle, scream and have a ball. This time is not going to come again. So, enjoy while letting others also do the same. Cheers!!!

Friendship needs little nurturing

Friendship is just like a small plant, all that it needs is a little care. Once the plant has taken roots, you can even skip the daily routine and as little as watering it regularly is fine. However, if you ignore it during the initial days, the plant will wither and die!! Similarly, all that friendship really require that you nurture it. Be there for your friends whenever they need so. Sometimes, simply being there is enough!! However, at times, you do need to water it!! Once in a while, take time out to meet old buddies, surprise them!! Plan a dinner or an outing, if possible. If not, just a 5 minute call would be sufficient.

Friendship is not like other relations which require a lot of effort in maintaining the spark alive. It is not demanding like a child. This is one relation that will make you feel alive and young even when you are 60. It doesn't want you to be there every day!!

Surprisingly, this is the only relation that suffers a  lot once you are grown up and get busy with your life and family!! The one relation that could give you solace and peace when you need one!! If only, we could learn to strike the perfect balance between family, kids, job and social obligations, life would be so much more beautiful...Those who learn the art of preserving and maintaining relationships are the happiest. Little thought, small gesture of affection goes a long way.

Lets not forget that by nature, man ( and woman ;-)) are social animals. We have the innate desire to love and be loved..No matter how old we get, no matter how busy we are, deep down we are still childlike. We need to be around someone who loves us for what we are!! So, lets be there for friends and rather than doing mundane things this Sunday, Lets walk that extra mile and meet an old buddy and come home rejuvenated!!!

Where did the fireflies go……

Gaganpreet kaur

8898008889                                                    Word Count : 700

Living in a  metro comes with its own pros and cons. I was just sitting in my balcony in Pune and enjoying the view. There are mountains right outside my balcony and they seem at just at arm’s length. There is a green patch and I see nature at  its best!! “Nothing can be better than this”, I thought. Life is peaceful yet we are living in a city which is full of madness. One of   the  IT hubs of India.  People from all over India come to this part of the world which is also known as the Oxford of India.

The city is beautiful. It has old time’s charm and metro’s facilities. The weather is awesome… great relief from Mumbai weather where my husband was last posted.

I was so immersed in my thoughts that I did not realize when my 3 years old daughter got up. She was watching cartoons as I came inside. I wondered how much life has changed since we were kids. We never woke up to TVs and as soon as we were up, we would run off and played outside. Playing with cousins- one extended family in the verandah of our ancestral house.

Summer vacations was a special time since all of us would be free and would play games, go out to near by river for a swim in the fiery afternoon, picking up mangoes from a nearby grove, chilling them in the river and enjoy the dripping juices of the fruit!!

“ What beautiful days and what an amazing childhood I had,” I sighed. My daughter was still immersed with the cartoons..saying chatpata chatpata chat..rhyming with a TV commercial. I smiled. As I gave my daughter breakfast, I thought about the evening walks that we as a family took.

We lived in a small village. My father was an Engineer and had a govt. job. He loved his village so much that all his life he never accepted any promotion because a promotion would mean transfer to a new city. He loved his ancestral place too much to trade it for the world. He loved nature. The evenings were fixed for my ma and papa’s leisurely evening walks. Sometimes, we would also go along. Me and my elder sister. I would tease my sister and run off, I knew she will not be able to catch me ever. We used to sit near river banks, try to catch fish with our hands or dupatta that we carried specially for this purpose.

We used to see fireflies in our backyard. What an amazing creature. I was always mesmerized by them. They glowed beautifully…I would run after them and catch them in the hands..and show it to my sister who would run away screaming. I just loved them. I was wondering where all the fireflies have gone!! I haven’t seen them in years! The very thought that my daughter would never be able to see such a beauty made me sad.

I was brought back to my present by the phone. I picked it up and it was my friend, Sonia. We had a small chit-chat. I sat beside my daughter. I asked her if we could play together, she was too happy to oblige. So, we started playing switching off the TV. I was happy that she agreed, even though her favourite cartoon “ Chhota Bheem”.

My daughter made me tea, snacks and yummy yummy tomato soup as she played. She was pretending we were on a train and she was one of the guys who continuously came in to serve us.

She asked me,” mama aap udaas kyon ho? Ka ho gya?” My heart melted as I smiled and said,” Nothing Bache.” She hugged my tightly and said,” main hun na! Fir ka zaroorat hai!” This was her way of saying that when she is sitting right beside me, then how can I be sad!!! I laughed. She laughed with me, imitating me and started running..mujhe pakdo!! Naturally I had to chase her and catch her. She is my firefly, my angel I thought.

May be one day, I will be able to show her a firefly. Till then, I have my little firefly to chase!! We laughed as I ran after her.